.

April 2016

I am lying with my head against your chest and there are tears rolling down my cheeks and I am anticipating them reaching your skin so that you will know that Im crying.

But they are rolling slower and slower and it seems like they wont reach you.

So I try to produce more in order to keep the momentum going.

This method fails, the tears are collecting at the edge of my jawline and rolling along my neck.

I try smiling and squinting to encourage them, to encourage them.

But the tears, they are actually navigating themselves away from you.

And I think this is actually grief.

April 2016

Look,

This is an urgent situation

Terrible

Terribly fucking urgent

And immediately

You must come here immediately

SONG

Me

its me

and its them

and its them

they are six

and its him

he is one

and im one

so its eight

Car

in a car

and a drive

on a night

in the dark

and the wet

and the fog

in the cold

in the thick

and the thickness

Island

an island

on a night

in the damp

and the dark

and the air

it is cold

and the wet

and the wetness

Dark

it is dark

in the dark

and the drunk

in the car

and its us

and its him

and the rush

and the laugh

and the laughter

Fast

and the fast

and the car

on the bridge

with the wet

with the loud

with the sounds

and the sounds

they are loud

they are louder

Red

and its her

and its her

and the red

and the red

and its him

and its me

and its them

and the red

and its her

and the red

and the redness

2016

My institutional essay outline prescription tells me to avoid irrelevant information and unnecessary repetition.